2003-01-20 - 11:13 a.m.
1/17/03
6:32 am - The body still doesn't suspect a thing. Undernieth the makeup, the eyes have that puffy exhausted feeling. The brain is driving at about 75%. But the body has no fucking idea.
I am sitting in the airport on a Friady, mildly surprised at the number of crazy mother fuckers that are up and traveling at this hour. I am drinking orange juice because the mouth insisted. I've eaten oranges that tasted like this juice. They were mildly bitter and underripe. I can see the color of the segments: transparent and only tinged with orange, like ice or water poured from an unwashed pitcher. And crunchy. Oranges that tasted like this were always indecently crunchy. The mouth still insists.
Through the windows I can see the reds and blues that precede sunrise's delicate pinks and ... more blues. The body may be getting suspicious. Gods, there are somethings in this world that are so purely beautiful they defy description. The gradually lightening sky behind the sharp sillouetes of airplane tales. Now rosy and peachy, a bouquet of light. And the indigo of midnight fades gracefully back. Without resentment, like the tides. It's only we who gave the sun and moon jealousy. Without us they are perfectly content.
My hand still stings from the tea I spilled. Well, that guy's luggage spilled, really. And all I want to do is crawl back in bed, place my stinging hand against cool sheets, and nap until noon. Curl up with my back against a broad chest and breathe deeply against the weight of an arm thrown over my waist.
Oh, beautiful blazing reds thrown against the few horizon clouds. Bright reds of Mars.
Napping sleep always feels like such a gift because you are tired enough to need it. And you are probably just giddy enough that you roll around in the linens in some kind of ecstacy thinking "yay, I'm going to sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep!" Either that, or you hit horizontal and pass out. But when you wake up you aren't tired anymore. Whatever it was you were holding out for is over and you got this bit of time to yourself. Lovely.
1/20/03 - 11:13 am
It was a good trip. It was hard to come home. Mostly because my real life waited for me on the other end of the return flight like a nightmare. Soon, soon I will be able to take a nap and wake from this crap.
Take care,
M
